• January 22, 2022

Final Fantasy 14 Drink Menu #1

ByRen

Dec 8, 2021
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Image SQUARE ENIX CO

I’m a healer but *cocks gun* (bucket or Lowball w/1 large ice cube)

THE HARMICIST IS ON THE CASE!

  • 2 oz bourbon
  • 1 oz sage honey syrup (depending on preferred sweetness)
  • Half a juiced orange (fresh is better but you could be forgiven for pre-bottled)

Combine bourbon, sage honey syrup and orange juice in a shaker with ice. Shake & strain over the ice cube.

Optional Garnish: orange peel & sage leaf

Honey Sage Simple Syrup:
1 cup water to ¾ cup honey (or ½ cup honey if you prefer it less sweet). Bring water + honey to a soft simmer, turn off heat & let cool To infuse the sage, simply add 10 fresh sage leaves to the honey simple syrup as soon as you turn off the heat. Let the sage leaves steep for 10 minutes, then remove from the syrup.

>> Setting a timer is helpful if you easily lose track of time, like me! – Ren <<

Don’t fear the reaper

A drink of two parts.  Much like you will be when you sell yourself to the void.

(The Mix)

  • 32 oz tomato juice
  • 1 Lemon, juiced
  • 1 Lime, juiced
  • 2 oz worcestershire sauce
  • 1/2 tsp celery salt
  • 1/2 tsp black pepper
  • 1/2 tsp garlic powder
  • 1/2 tsp smoked paprika
  • 1/2 tsp cayenne pepper

Add everything in either a pitcher, or a large mason jar.  Stir until everything is fully mixed together, then store in the refrigerator until ready to use.  Or just drink it as it is before it becomes possessed by spirits.  Your choice.

(The Drink)

  • Tall glass, rimmed with smoked salt
  • 2 lemon wedge
  • 2 lime wedge
  • 2 pepperoncini
  • 1 stalk of celery
  • 2 green olives
  • 2 oz vodka

1-3 dashes of Carolina Reaper Hot Sauce.  Remember, your voidsent partner feeds off your pain, and you’re now in this together.

Muddle 1 lemon, 1 lime, and 1 pepperoncini in the glass without ice, fill with ice, then pour vodka in.  Pour in mix until the glass is nice and topped off.  Adorn the rim of the glass with remaining lemon and lime wedge, then skewer pepperoncini and green olives as if their lives were meaningless, ready to be consumed by your Reaper gluttony.  Place them into the glass as the first sacrifice, then carefully add in the celery stalk into the drink.  Take a moment to let it sink in that you’ve allowed the Void to share in the vessel of your mortal coil before drinking.

Paroxysm of the sundered’s inflicted pain (martini)

“Because I want wretched creatures who ask such meaningless questions to die! You! And you! And you! I want you all to die! And I want to die too! Oh yes, I want to die and take everyone with me in a paroxysm of pain and suffering!” – Fandaniel

  • 1  oz Ketel One vodka
  • 1  oz chambord
  • ½ oz cointreau
  • ½ oz blue curacao
  • ½ oz lime juice
  • 2 ounces cranberry juice

Combine ingredients and shake with ice and general MANIA until the shaker is frosty. strain into a martini glass and garnish with your distaste for humanity, especially that one… your lord’s obsession.

sip slowly while watching the world burn.

The final Hunt of my friend, my enemy (lowball)

Otherwise known as the ‘Overly attached villainous rival’

  • 2 oz Kraken (as black as that missing soul)
  • ½ juiced lemon
  • 1 juiced blood orange
  • 1 oz brown sugar simple syrup
  • 1 egg white

Garnish: thin blood orange slice over foam

Roll blood orange back and forward under the heel of your palm on a stiff, steady surface to release juices. Cut in half, juice into a cocktail shaker (or mason jar + lid!)

Add kraken (or other preferred dark rum), brown sugar simple syrup, lemon juice, and egg white to the shaker with blood orange juice. First Dry Shake (without ice) like you might imagine throttling your battlefield enemy, at least 20-30 seconds.

After the first shaking is done, Open the shaker or mason jar, add a bit of ice, cover and shake again for a couple seconds for good measure before straining into glass.

Brown sugar Simple Syrup recipe:
Equal parts (1/1) hot water and dark brown sugar. Water doesn’t have to be boiling hot to melt sugar, and microwaving a cup in a glass measuring cup is 100% valid.

Mare Lamentorum, the Sea of Lamententations (martini) 

  • 1 oz white chocolate liqueur
  • 1 oz vanilla vodka
  • ½ oz white creme de cacao
  • 1 oz half & half

rim garnish: coarse sanding sugar and white edible glitter

Add a thin layer of simple syrup to a small plate, and the sanding sugar and edible glitter to a second small plate. Dip martini glass first with simple syrup, then the glitter sugar. Set aside.

In a shaker combine white chocolate liqueur, vanilla vodka, white creme de cacao, and half & half with ice. Shake well until cold, strain into rimmed glass.

Contemplate those who came before, and those who come after on the moon.

The Final Days of Hydaelyn (pounder w/ice)

“Without decisive sacrifice, our star would surely perish.” – Emet-Selch

  • 2 oz aviation gin
  • ½ oz simple syrup
  • 1 to 3 slices fresh jalapeño, seeds optional
  • 1 to 3 fresh leaves basil
  • 3 oz grapefruit juice
  • Fill club soda (or mineral water)

Garnish: grapefruit wedge

Add the gin, simple syrup, jalapeño slices and basil to the bottom of a shaker.
(If you do not have a shaker, a mason jar + lid works in a pinch!) Muddle lightly to release flavors into the gin and syrup.  Add ice and grapefruit juice, shake until cold.

Strain into ice-filled glass, top with the club soda/mineral water.

The Telophoroi’s Scheming (martini)

The splinter-faction has marched straight through our homelands, stealing sisters and brothers alike for their one fanatical goal: bringing about the final days and the destruction of the world!

  • 1 ½ oz blanco tequila
  • 1 oz cointreau
  • ½ oz lime juice (fresh is better, bottled is acceptable)
  • ½ oz simple syrup
  • 1 ½-2oz of pomegranate juice
  • (if all you can find is sweetened pomegranate juice, feel free to skip the simple syrup!)

Garnish: salt rim

Salt rim of your glass by notching a lime wedge and running it around the edge of the rim. Dip the rim into a plate of salt, tapping it gently to loosen any excess. Fill with ice. (the glass, not the plate.)

Place all ingredients into a shaker with ice. Shake until cold, strain mixture into ice-filled glass.

**To make a pitcher for you & your telophoroi friends, mix:

1 ½ cups blanco tequila, 1 ½ cups unsweetened pomegranate juice, 1 cup Cointreau, ½ cup lime juice, and ½ cup simple syrup. Add ice and stir until cold. Pour into individual glasses.

Putting a long curly straw into the pitcher is unadvised but we’re not your paragons.


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Ren

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